Be Kind Not Nice

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Be Kind Not Nice

Summary

  • I learned early in my career that being a 'nice' leader can backfire. When leaders prioritize being liked over being honest, it hurts trust and respect.
  • People value authenticity. Who trusts a leader who says only what others want to hear? Honesty builds trust, not people-pleasing.
  • Nice leaders often try to build trust by avoiding discomfort. But the truth is, you earn respect by being honest, even if it's uncomfortable.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing honesty in your communication. Be genuine so others see you as trustworthy. People can tell if you're not being sincere, and trust won't build if they think you're not being real with them.

A good way of doing this is by giving clear and honest feedback, even if it feels uncomfortable. Practice saying what needs to be said with kindness. This means balancing honesty with empathy. It may be tough at first, but you'll earn more respect and trust over time.

Sometimes, we avoid tough conversations because they're awkward. But a simple trick is to prepare in advance. Think about what you need to say and how you can say it clearly and kindly. This helps reduce the discomfort and makes the conversation smoother.

In daily interactions, pay attention to moments where your desire to be liked might color your honesty. Remind yourself that honesty helps, even if it doesn't always win friends right away. Remember, people value leaders who are authentic, not those who only say what others want to hear.

Lastly, reflect on your actions regularly. After a conversation, think about whether you were honest or if you held back just to avoid being uncomfortable. Over time, noticing these patterns will make you more confident in being candid and earn you the trust and respect you deserve.

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