Critiquing Someone Without Insulting Them
Summary
- When you criticize your spouse, avoid being harsh. Saying things like "You never take out the trash" or "You're so messy" doesn't help.
- Just as insulting your spouse doesn't work, neither does insulting your employees.
- Sometimes, punishment isn't intentional. A look or glance can accidentally punish someone.
- If someone tells you they made a mistake and you react with a disapproving face before speaking, they will feel punished.
- People who feel punished may avoid telling you about their mistakes in the future.
- Deliver criticism to help someone improve. Insults make people feel bad and remain stuck.
- If you want to sabotage someone, insult them. But if you want to help them get better, offer constructive criticism.
Video
How To Take Action
I would suggest implementing a few key strategies to create a positive environment for growth, both in business and personal relationships. These strategies are low-cost in terms of money and time, but can have a high impact:
Mind Your Words: Avoid using harsh language when providing feedback. For example, instead of saying, "You never take out the trash," try saying, "It would help a lot if you could take out the trash more often." This approach is more constructive and makes the person feel valued rather than criticized.
Watch Your Reactions: Sometimes, your facial expressions can unintentionally punish someone. If someone admits a mistake, make a conscious effort to maintain a neutral or positive facial expression before speaking. This helps them feel safe and open to making improvements.
Constructive Criticism: Focus on giving criticism that helps someone improve rather than making them feel bad. If an employee misses a deadline, instead of saying, "You're always late," you could say, "I've noticed that deadlines are a challenge. Let's discuss how we can manage time better in the future."
Encourage Openness: Create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing their mistakes without fear of punishment. This can be done by thanking them for their honesty and working together to find solutions. This encourages continuous learning and improvement.
Separate Critique from Insult: Remember that the goal of criticism is to help someone get better. Avoid personal attacks or comments that make them feel bad. Always aim for your feedback to be something that the person can act on to improve their performance or behavior.
By focusing on these strategies, you'll not only foster a more positive atmosphere but also help those around you grow and improve effectively.
Full Transcript
anyone in here realizing why their spouse doesn't like their critiques you never take out the trash you're so messy oh my God I don't know how you do this you promise you would do X Y andz but you never do it's just like your brother just like insulting your spouse doesn't work neither does insulting your employees a lot of the times things that are punishing are not done on purpose like it could be a glance that could punish somebody if somebody comes up to me and then they tell me the mistake they made and the first thing that happens is before my mouth opens to say that's okay thank you so much is like what are they going to feel they're actually going to feel punished because my face responded before my mouth and so what's going to happen they're going to feel punished they're going to avoid telling me again if you want someone to get better you deliver criticism you critique them whereas if you want someone to feel bad and stay stuck then you insult them so if there's anyone here who'd like to sabotage just insult them
