Don’t Settle on Your Spouse…EVER

Summary

• I believe that in a marriage, divorce shouldn't be an option, but this works only if both partners are open to growth and learning together.
• If I were in a relationship where only I was growing, it would be a challenge to maintain this no-divorce perspective. Both partners need to evolve.
• People often marry just because they've reached a certain age or based on temporary circumstances. It's crucial to be mindful of this decision.
• The person you marry has a tremendous influence over your life, more than anyone else, so it's vital to choose someone who you truly want to have that influence.
• Asking yourself if you want someone to have such significant influence over your life is an important and often difficult question.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing the idea of intentional growth in your relationships, especially if you're considering marriage. Start by having open conversations with your partner about personal growth and learning together. These discussions can be simple and happen during your regular routines, like at dinner or while walking. This doesn't cost anything but can make a significant difference in your relationship by ensuring both partners are committed to evolving together.

A good way of doing this is to set common goals for growth, whether it's reading a book together, attending workshops, or simply sharing new ideas. Begin small, like picking a motivational podcast to listen to together. This keeps the relationship dynamic and can be done with minimal time investment.

If you're single or considering a relationship, take time to reflect on whether a potential partner shares your values of growth and learning. Write down what qualities you value and use these as a guide when choosing who to date.

Finally, regularly ask yourself if this is someone you want to have significant influence over your life. Reflecting on this question can provide clarity and direction in your personal life. Journaling can help with this introspection, which is a low-cost way to gain deeper understanding of yourself and your relationships.

These steps are all about being mindful and deliberate, ensuring that you're building relationships that support mutual growth and happiness.

Full Transcript

divorce is not an option there's no out here we agreed that that was possible because we're both very coachable and we're both growth oriented now if I had been with somebody who wasn't I don't know if I'd put hey no out because if I keep growing and they're not growing at all yeah it's tough there's just a discrepancy you know I think a lot of people I to be honest they're just like well I'm 28 and uh I'm dating you and so let's just get married this person has more influence over you than anybody else in your entire life is this really the person that you want to have that much influence over you and that's a really hard question for people to ask themselves