How I handle conflicts (life + business)

Summary

• When feeling like I'm failing at a skill such as sales, it's crucial to understand why and to compare myself to those who excel, mimicking their daily behaviors, training, and practices to improve.
• To increase discipline, I recommend saying "no" more often. This applies to diet, business ventures, relationships, and other aspects of life where saying no can actually lead to more of what I want and less of what I don't want.
• When setting goals, I find it easiest to have one significant, impact-related goal. By aligning all other goals towards that main aim, it simplifies the process and ensures all aspects of life contribute to the ultimate vision.
• To overcome the fear of judgment, especially when creating content, I suggest acting in spite of it, learning to appreciate negative feedback, and embracing opposition as a sign that you're saying something worthwhile.
• For daunting tasks, the key is to act without overthinking. Anxiety and stress can exist, but they shouldn't prevent action. Distracting oneself and jumping into tasks are effective strategies.
• If a business isn’t qualified for acquisition.com, possible reasons could be low revenue, insufficient track record, limited number of locations, or high startup costs. Reducing startup costs can make a franchise model more viable.
• If lacking skills, identify which ones will remove current constraints and focus on them. Consider the ROI when choosing skills to develop.
• Persistence in execution is crucial when facing a lack of momentum in business. Study those who are successful in the intended endeavor to identify and bridge the execution gap.
• The best decisions in business involve staying focused and aligned with long-term goals. Poor decisions often stem from a failure to fully consider the context and requirements of a role when placing people.
• Curiosity is an undervalued trait to look for in potential hires, as it indicates openness and a willingness to learn.
• For conflict resolution with a spouse, reframing the situation—remembering that we're on the same team—and giving each other space or communicating through writing can help de-escalate tensions.
• My makeup routine is efficient and simple; I allocate a maximum of 15 minutes and have learned by observing professionals, focusing on speed without unnecessary delays.
• As for questions about marriage over business, it's more relatable for many people, and asking me instead of Alex may be due to societal expectations.
• With regard to employee relationships, if friends respect you, then closeness should not affect respect in the workplace. Transparency and integrity are key.
• We should view the upcoming generation as capable if we properly train them to exhibit desirable behaviors, rather than see them as a lost cause.
• I would not run a business at a loss to grow another. If one business's cash flow is being used unsuccessfully to support another, it's best to reevaluate that strategy.
• Humor plays a role in personal interactions, and when asked for a joke, I don't rely on pre-written humor but rather spontaneous moments of levity.
• A personal gym pet peeve is individuals not being considerate of others' space, like dripping sweat while doing exercises too close, illustrating the importance of gym etiquette.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing discipline in business by learning to say "no." It's important to focus on what really helps your business grow. Don't get distracted by too many side projects. Say no to things that don't lead towards your main goal.

To improve at a skill like sales, compare yourself to the top performers. Look at their habits, training, and practice. Mimic these to become better. Don't waste time feeling bad. Focus on what successful people do daily and do the same things.

For setting goals, keep it simple with one big goal that's about making an impact. All smaller goals should support the big one. This keeps everything straightforward.

Don't let fear of judgment stop you. People might give negative feedback, but sometimes it means you’re sharing something that matters. Keep creating content even if you feel scared.

Feeling anxious about tasks can be normal. Try to jump straight into action. Overthinking will only make things harder. Just start working and the stress will often lessen as you go.

If your business isn't ready for big moves like being part of acquisition.com, look at your weak points. Maybe you need to increase revenue or reduce startup costs. A high start-up cost can be a barrier to growing, like in franchising.

Choose which skills to develop based on the return you'll get. For example, if the skill removes a business barrier, it's valuable. Learn skills one at a time, focusing on the ones with the best payback.

Persistence helps when you lack momentum. Find out what successful people do and try to close the execution gap. Keep pushing and stay focused.

Make business decisions aligned with long-term goals. Don't distract yourself with short-term wins that aren't part of the plan. Bad decisions often forget the bigger picture.

When hiring, look for curiosity in people. It's a sign of someone who is willing to learn and grow.

With your spouse, remember you're on the same team to help with conflicts. Sometimes writing down what's bothering you can help you think before you speak.

Keep a simple makeup routine by observing pros and focusing on speed. You can get great results in just 15 minutes by not overdoing it.

Treat your employees with respect and transparency. Close friendships at work can be fine if you're honest and consistent.

Train the next generation properly instead of assuming they're hopeless. Develop your skills as a trainer to guide their work ethic and attitudes.

Don't run a business at a loss to fund another. Instead, find ways to make both profitable or reconsider your approach.

Use humor naturally in interactions rather than relying on jokes. Funny moments will come more genuinely this way.

For gym etiquette, be aware of others and keep a hygienic attitude. It shows respect for shared spaces.

Quotes by Leila Hormozi

"I think that the fastest way for people to have more discipline is to say no more than they say yes"

– Leila Hormozi

"if you don't understand that it is very hard to set goals and if you do know then it makes it incredibly easy"

– Leila Hormozi

"if you are saying anything worth being said you're going to have opposition"

– Leila Hormozi

"All of the best decisions I've made in business have been to stay focused"

– Leila Hormozi

"I think an underrated trait when hiring is curiosity"

– Leila Hormozi

Full Transcript

productive conversation unless you are both remembering or one team on the same side of the table we both want to win a few weeks ago I made a post on Instagram where I talked about how I wanted to get your top questions I have answered a crap ton of them what are some good skills that I can acquire and monetize currently I need sales but not killing it was considering coding but I'm feeling too old at 26 and that it would take me too long the best thing you could do is figure out why you're sucking at sales sales is such a good skill set to learn especially when you're 26 I would figure out why you're not able to sell or what belief you have right now you're saying like I'm not good at sales like no you haven't acquired the skill of sales so there's something that you're not doing to acquire the skill so I think you need to go and identify like what is that thing compare yourself to the people who are killing it like what behaviors are they exhibiting on a daily basis what are they doing in terms of training what are they practicing and go all in on that because I think it is an important enough skill that you should learn it how do you have more discipline I think that the fastest way for people to have more discipline is to say no more than they say yes let's look at food for example they say yes every time there's a piece of food in front of them they say yes to all kinds of food they say yes to eating out all the time and that results in no discipline let's look at business they say yes to starting a new business they say yes to affiliating with a product they say yes to a new business partner and then they end up with like 17 businesses that all make abysmal amount of money let's look at yes in terms of relationships they say yes to going on this date yes to going on that date yes to being with this person yes to being with that person until eventually they've ruined their reputation by saying yes all the time in what areas of your life are you saying yes and it's actually not getting you what you want and that saying no would get you more of what you do want and less of what you don't want what is your process when making goals is there any questions that I should be asking myself or is it kind of spontaneous I think the reason that most people suck at making goals is because they try to make goals for like 17 areas of their life and those areas are not integrated together I have one big goal an impact related goal and I gear all of my goals towards that how I do my fitness how I do my relationship how I do work it all gears towards like wanting to make an impact and so that makes setting goals really easy I think that the reason most people over complicate goals is because they look at their life in segments in a way that they don't all feed the same system but when everything's interrelated it's really easy because it's all under one umbrella so I think in order to set your goals you have to understand the long-term Vision that you want for your life if you don't understand that it is very hard to set goals and if you do know then it makes it incredibly easy how did you get over the fear of judgment I think that you learn to act despite feeling that people are judging you for your content I think that you take the feedback from the audience and you try to add it in and factor that into the content that you're making people are always going to judge you people say some mean nasty to me and honestly I kind of learned to like it if anything at the end of the day if you are saying anything worth being said you're going to have opposition and if you are actually being yourself probably going to have a lot of people who don't like you I would rather be myself and allow others to judge me than not be myself and constantly judge myself what mental steps do you go through to take action on a big like daunting task I don't think you go through any mental steps for a big daunting task I think that you go do the task I think that actually would make the task so daunting is the fact that you think that you need to think about it before you go do it what if you could be anxious about it and be stressed about it be frustrated be nervous and still do it anyways honestly you're best off just not thinking about it by distracting yourself with other things and with realizing that you don't need to do anything you can feel anxious you can do it anyways we applied to acquisition.com but we don't qualify yet what is your advice on how we can position ourselves to be able to qualify and work with you all we want a franchise and need help if you are a restaurant and we didn't qualify you I would say there's a few things one you could just be too low in Revenue maybe we thought you were too small and there's not enough of a proven track record maybe you don't have enough locations open yet the second one is like maybe your startup costs are too high this is something that we see all the top and franchises which is the reason that they're not able to be successful is not because the model doesn't work it's because the cost of capital that you have to allocate to start up a single location is so high that it doesn't make sense for anyone to buy in as a franchisee that is one of the common mistakes especially in the food industry any kind of food chain the startup costs are so high if you can figure out a way to get the startup costs say half of what they are now and still make it viable then I think that is like a brilliant way if you've got no skills would you work on getting skills one by one or learning everything and adapting everything one by one if you don't have skills the way in which to figure out what skill to acquire is figure out what the constraints are what is stopping you from getting what you want what right now am I not able to do that if I were able to do it I would have what I want and that is how you figure out what skill you need to get for someone who's new it might actually be that you have all constraints because every single area is a place where you lack a skill and so then the question is what area if I put my attention to will provide me with the highest return what do you do if you try something either in your business or your career and you don't get any momentum if you have tried something and you have not gained momentum and there's proof that other people have gained momentum then I think that it's execution is off so I would not switch and look at something new until I figured out like where did I fail in the execution of this thing momentum is really just success over and over and over again and you only are going to get that if you're continuing to be consistent in winning an execution go find somebody who has succeeded in that thing and go see what they're doing go ask them go dig into what they're doing in terms of the execution and try to figure out where the Gap is what has been your best decision in business all of the best decisions I've made in business have been to stay focused I think on a really long time Horizon so the best decisions I have made have been ones that you wouldn't be able to see because it was saying no to opportunities that were not right for that time and because of that it allowed us to stay focused and achieve the goals we ultimately want to and right now we're at the phase with acquisition.com where we need to do that the second question on uh her comment was what has been your worst and what did you learn from I think the worst decisions I've made have been ones where I didn't think through the full context what was required for a role and I put someone in there who lacked awareness or skill in a key area that was fundamental to making it work and then it had detrimental repercussions on the team in the business it's always been people decisions that have been the worst ones nobody's gonna be like a 10 out of 10 fit for any role that's just like impossible to find someone who's a perfect fit for any given role in any company but for me in the beginning I lacked at identifying like okay the 30 that they do lack for this role what is it and then how can we work on it and then are we both aware of it and I think now I make that much more of a discussion versus then I didn't even think about it what would you say is the best trait to look for when hiring people I think an underrated trait when hiring is curiosity because if people are curious about what you do they're curious about the company they're curious about learning it's always a very good disposition because then people are open-minded and like ready to learn new skills there's not much that you cannot train people on and you can't help them develop but if they're not interested in doing that that is a problem do you have a process for when you and Alex disagree or have a conflict most of the time we try to do like a reframe which is one of two things one is normally when we're in Conflict it's because we're feeling like we're on opposite sides of the table one of the best things and this is something that Alex did now I've reciprocated it is like he'll just grab me and he'll just hug me for like a minute until I've de-escalated now I have learned to try and do the same with him I'm here I love you we are on the same team I think that's the first thing I don't really think that you can have a productive conversation with your spouse unless you are both remembering like we're one team on the same side of the table we both want to win the second piece is do you just need some time alone if you are too emotional I think that having a conversation with your spouse is just like not productive at all so sometimes like I'll take myself on a walk exit the conversation we'll go do something else a lot of times what we do is we actually end up texting each other we can read what we're saying we're more thoughtful there's a lot of evidence to support that when you're writing something down you're able to be more thoughtful about it than you are when you're just like exploring out words and then you can also see if what you're saying is completely and emotional okay so the next one secrets to the fabulous makeup routine oh my God are people really asking that my makeup routine yeah yeah I don't know what am I supposed to say I don't know how to show makeup without like how do you talk about makeup like here I blend here and do like you know what I mean how do you approach it like do you do it yourself when you not do it yourself how long do you take what are some of your favorite go-to products like Foundation eyeliner mascara blush makeup not something I consider myself an expedite so I'll hire people to do my makeup for things like events and then I watch what they do I ask how they're doing it and I watch them in the mirror and then I tried to do it myself and I only allow myself maximum 15 minutes I think that people just take time because they have time I think a lot of people have time to do their makeup so they're like take forever to Pat the stuff on and all that I think that you can do it in 15 minutes I really do like I go really fast like I'm sweating by the end of my routine how do you not chew people's heads off that only ask you about being married to Alex instead of running your multi-million dollar business I think most people me being a married person having a successful marriage is more relatable to more people they're not as many women in my position as there are women who are married so it makes sense they would ask about the thing that is relevant to them that's the first piece the second piece is I think that a lot of people don't want to ask Alex because they figure he doesn't want to talk about it a lot of men don't like talk about like marriage love all that stuff you just like associate the woman with being the one who wants to talk about it not the man and I would say the third is that people don't actually think I run the business there how close should you be with your employees and still have them respect you as a boss do your friends not respect you if you're like how do I get close to my employees with them still respect me as a boss it is alluding to the fact that you're acting somewhat different in the workplace than you would personally which then makes me say like well do your friends respect you if the answer is yes then you can be as close as you want to your employees but if it's no but what are you doing inside of work when you're acting as their boss that you do differently outside of work and the one phrase a mentor told me when I first got into business is he said Layla never do something that you wouldn't be proud for someone to find out about and that has been something that I have lived by ever since I heard that because I thought to myself like I want no dirty laundry there's nothing that I wouldn't be okay with the public finding out because I live in a way that no matter how much people get to know me in fact the people who get to know me better tend to respect me more and I would like to live in accordance with that how do you deal with the sense of entitlement and work ethic or should I say lack of with the up and coming generation I think that we need to stop talking about the generation as if they are hopeless and I think that what we need to start doing is understand that maybe different Generations have different ways in which they are parented which then leads in like a very vague manner a lot of people to act in a certain way what you can do is train people leaders don't actually know how to train people getting them to exhibit different Behavior than they are currently exhibiting and so I think that if you actually know how to do that you have a huge advantage in terms of acquiring the talent of the new and up and coming generation what do you do about it you become better at training would you ever run a business at a loss to help grow another business I run a business at a loss to help grow another business no shut it down like I don't even understand that the only reason I can imagine that you would run one to help grow another is to use the cash flow from one to invest in growing the other I don't understand why you would grow one at a loss how does that help you grow the next one beats me you share your best joke Alex said you're really funny do people even have jokes anymore they think I like to stand up comedy to him in the bedroom doesn't really gets them going you know talk about ebitda look at these pianos let me give you another one what is your personal uh like gym pet peeve I just think it's like absolutely disgusting when somebody like ran on the treadmill for like an hour and then they come and do like jumping jacks next to me like they're spit like flies like they're they're sweat goes all over you you know what I mean like I just find that disgusting and I hate you know but like literally after me the other day in the gym the guy was like doing uh skater sprints and he was Dripping and it was just I'm I'm eight feet away from the guy and it's flying on my face and I was like seriously