How to give feedback
Summary
- When telling someone not to do something, they often end up thinking about it more. This is especially true for those with anxiety, as it creates a self-perpetuating cycle of worry.
- Instead of giving vague negative feedback, it's better to point out specific behaviors you want someone to move towards. This helps them improve rather than feel stuck or regress.
- If you tell an employee they messed up without clear guidance, they might walk away feeling worse about their skills, even if they were actually performing well before.
- Focus on guiding people towards their goals rather than emphasizing what they should avoid.
Video
How To Take Action
I suggest focusing on what actions to take rather than what to avoid. If someone knows what you want them to work towards, they’re more likely to succeed. Instead of saying, “Don’t worry about mistakes,” say, “Let’s aim for clearer communication next time.”
A good way to help someone with anxiety is to redirect their focus. Encourage them to set small, manageable goals that lead them away from anxious thoughts. For example, instead of telling them to stop worrying, suggest they take a few deep breaths or write down their concerns and then shift their attention to completing a specific task.
When giving feedback to employees or during any learning situation, be specific and positive. For instance, if an employee missed a sales target, instead of saying, “That was really bad,” try, “Next time, let’s focus on engaging the customer by asking more open-ended questions.” This guides them towards improvement without making them feel inadequate.
Focus on guiding people towards their goals, like helping them envision success. They need to see clearly what actions to take rather than dwell on failures. By doing this, you’ll create a supportive environment where growth feels attainable, and everyone feels empowered to move forward positively.
