How To Never Feel Stressed Again

Summary

• Don't let others control your happiness; your response to their actions determines your happiness.
• How we perceive and react to life's events shapes our overall experience.
• We often label experiences as "bad" due to conditioning from childhood but can choose to view them objectively.
• To reframe a situation, ask: "What if this happened regularly?" If it were expected, your reaction might change, demonstrating the power of perspective.
• Compare circumstances to weather: neither inherently good nor bad, just different conditions. Our labeling creates the concept of good or bad.
• Imagine your current problem on a larger time scale: will it matter in 100 years, or 10,000 years? This can reduce the importance we ascribe to the issue and alleviate stress.
• Remember that historical figures who seemed significant are now forgotten to emphasize the transient nature of importance and worries.
• Use the death of a beloved pet as an example; consider how shifting your view from loss to gratitude for the time spent can alter your emotional response.
• Playing with time and volume perspectives can help you exit the cycle of happy and sad, giving you control over your interpretation of life's events.
• While no one navigates life's challenges flawlessly, awareness of these strategies provides greater control over personal perceptions and resilience.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest starting with how you see the problems that come your way. When something makes you upset, take a moment to ask yourself, "Why is this bad? Could it be good instead?" See, we often think bad things are happening, but sometimes we just decide they're bad because that's what we learned growing up.

Here's a trick – think about time. Ask yourself, "In 100 years, will this problem matter?" Most times, the answer is no. It won't. This helps you stop thinking it's so important and lets you relax more.

Now, let's talk about weather. You know how some people say rainy days are bad and sunny days are good? That's not really true, is it? Rain or sunshine, it's just different kinds of days. If you start thinking like this, you don't get as upset when things don't go how you expect.

What if something happens a lot? Like being stuck in traffic. If it happened every day, you wouldn't be mad because you'd know it's coming. Same with good stuff – if you got to places faster than usual, you'd be happy! So, when things seem bad, ask yourself, "What if this was normal?" It can change how you feel about it.

Lastly, what about when you lose something you love – like a pet? It's easy to be sad. But what if you thought, "What if pets usually lived only six months, and mine lived longer?" You'd feel lucky, right? Changing how you look at it can switch your sadness to being grateful.

Everyone has things that bug them. No one is perfect. But knowing how to think about your problems differently can give you more control and make you feel better. That's how I handle tough times and feel less worried and sad. Try it out next time you have a problem, and see how it changes things for you.

Quotes by Alex Hormozi

"if people have to treat you a certain way for you to be happy then it means that your happiness is in their hands"

– Alex Hormozi

"how we manage the circumstances or the conditions that come to us dictates how our life turns out"

– Alex Hormozi

"when something bothers you, pull it out and look at it and say 'what happened and why is this bad?' and 'what would it look like if it were good?'"

– Alex Hormozi

"when in reality it just is, it's just the weather"

– Alex Hormozi

"if you want to make it positive you say 'well, what if every time I got in a car normally it would take an hour and today it took 30. I'd be pretty excited about it'"

– Alex Hormozi

Full Transcript

if people have to treat you a certain way for you to be happy then it means that your happiness is in their hands I get asked about mindset a lot on podcasts they're like when you're building a business or you're building a career there are stressors that come into play how we manage the circumstances or the conditions that come to us dictates how our life turns out everybody has bad stuff happen you probably believed and nodded your head like yeah everyone has stuff happen and then we choose to make it bad or good imagine for a second two children that are playing one child tells the other child your nose is really big or you're fat interesting is that the child who hears it is unaffected and the child who says it is unaffected they're like you're fat and he's like huh parent comes in and overhears it and she's like oh my God takes the child that was called fat Comforts them gives them the expectation that they should be upset and then tells the other one that that was bad and in a moment there was something that is now traumatic that otherwise wouldn't have been and so when we're kids we walk into the world with no meaning all we do is we we observe and then whatever the adults around us tell us and say this means that we take his fact and it's not true it's their interpretation of the world and we inherit them and then we spend the rest of our life trying to undo and examine these beliefs that we have been told by people that we probably don't agree with when something bothers you pull it out and look at and say what happened and why is this bad and what would it look like if it were good and so the two tools that I use are time and volume the volume example is thinking okay I'm in traffic if this happened every day would I be upset if it happened every day I'd probably expect it which means that I would not be upset about it because it's just how things always are if you want to make it positive you say well what if every time I got in a car normally it would take an hour and today it took 30. I'd be pretty excited about it and so all we did is just change the volume on the circumstance to recalibrate the meaning that we're choosing to ascribe to it good or bad I like to think of circumstances a lot like weather which is like you've got sunny days and you've got rainy days and the problem in my opinion is that people any day that it rains they say is bad and any day that's Sunny they say is good when in reality it just is it's just the weather contrast is what create the quote good and bad when really there's just a middle line and half of it's above and half of it's below then what we can do is artificially move the line in our minds by saying whatever this circumstance is what would it look like if it were worse and what would it look like if it were worse all the time and if so then maybe today's a good thing the second frame that I like to use is time a hundred years out but 10 000 years out how much is this going to matter the reason something affects you is because you have deemed it meaningful you've said it matters it's my world view that nothing matters with a capital M like nothing matters in the universe it doesn't matter there's this statue of a head that's in the Sands of Egypt all right and it's bigger than this whole room it's just the head it's worn out and then scripted along the forehead it says here lies crazy name who owned everything that the eye could see the immortal so-and-so and the only thing that was left was a worn out statue head that no one knew who he was and it was five thousand years old if that guy who ruled the known world to him wealth probably mattered right but does it matter no probably not I've relieved a lot of the pressure in my life so that I could make better decisions by zooming way out and thinking ten thousand years from now will this matter and if the answer is no does it matter to me and then if I can make the decision of like good or bad based on my new context that I created then I can live a life a lot easier and so for me that helped me decrease anxiety it helped me decrease sadness around certain circumstances and I'll give you the last example of this so I had a cat named Bill Chill Bill rest in peace homie Love the cat he died this is some freak heart thing or something so he died in like two years when he died I was bumped I was like this sucks then I thought to myself what if cats only normally lived six months how stoked would I be that he lived four times the normal length of a normal cat I was like I'd probably be really stuck I'd be like dude he lived a long life I can't believe we had him this long and all of a sudden my perspective around the death completely changed I was like I was so grateful that I got to have him as long as I did when you play with time and you play with volume first off we have to be aware of the levers of meaning that exist and then once you're aware of them you can start moving them in your favor and then looking at your current conditions through different lenses and say what would this mean if it were amazing what would the conditions have to be in order for this to be an awesome thing and then all of a sudden you just exit the game of happy sad and get to be your own own game maker at least that's what I tried to do when I get upset look at it pull it apart thing like is this real is this true is anyone doing this perfectly no but simply being aware of the fact gives you a lot more control over your own perception of life and the conditions that are presented to you