It’s Not About You…

Summary

• When letting someone go, focus on how it affects them rather than how you feel about it.
• It's not fair to make them feel worse by sharing how sad or bad you feel about the decision.
• Remember that your emotional struggle shouldn't be placed on them during such situations.
• Keep the conversation centered on practical matters that need addressing rather than your feelings.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing these strategies when you need to let someone go, like an employee or even in personal relationships. First, focus on how the decision affects them, not your feelings. Even if it's tough for you, it's important to put their needs and feelings first. This helps keep the situation respectful and fair.

A good way of doing this is to prepare in advance what you need to say. Focus on practical aspects, like the next steps they should take, instead of how sad or guilty you feel. Make a list of what you need to cover, like final tasks, payments, or other logistical items. This keeps the conversation clear and helpful for them.

It's also helpful to practice staying calm and focused. A simple action is to take deep breaths before the conversation or even role-play with a friend or mentor. This prepares you to keep emotions in check and the discussion supportive.

Lastly, remember that your emotional struggles are yours to manage. You could write in a journal or talk with a coach or mentor to process your feelings afterwards. This keeps your emotions from affecting professional decisions or making someone else feel worse.

These steps are low-cost and high-value, helping you handle tough situations with respect and kindness.

Full Transcript

if you have to let somebody go and it's really hard for you emotionally you need to remember that this is about them not about you if you were breaking up with a girlfriend you're like listen this isn't going to work but I'm so sad it's awful for me but by the way can you move out of my house by the way I'd like my coffee machine by the way how do you want to split the dog I don't think it's fair to the person that you're letting go to tell them how bad you feel about the decision that you're making that makes their life worse not yours