Let Your Partner Know What You Want (ft. @leilahormozi)

Summary

• There's a big difference between preferring to be alone and not wanting to be with someone. It's important to communicate this well.
• When you prefer to be alone, it might not be about the other person. It can be about your personal space and needs.
• If I don't need much quality time, I look for someone who has similar needs to reduce conflict and compromise.
• Finding a partner with matching needs can make a relationship smoother.
• If partners have different needs, like one wanting more quality time, it's important to see how flexible the other person can be.
• It's useful to work together on finding solutions that benefit both sides when needs don't match perfectly.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing clear communication about your personal preferences. If you like having alone time, make sure to explain that it's about your needs, not about rejecting someone else. This can help prevent misunderstandings.

A good way of doing this is by sitting down with your partner and discussing how much quality time each of you needs. It’s important to find common ground or agree on a compromise. If you both need different amounts of time together, see how flexible each one can be to accommodate the other. Maybe set certain evenings aside for connection time and others for personal space.

Another approach is to find a partner whose needs are similar to yours. This cuts down on conflict and the need to compromise constantly. Think about what truly matters to you in a relationship and look for those qualities in a partner.

If you're already in a relationship and your needs aren't exactly aligned, work together to create solutions that address both sides. Brainstorm and be open to trying new things that could make both of you happy.

Lastly, always evaluate the coachability of the other person. Are they open to understanding your needs and adjusting when necessary? This mutual flexibility can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

Full Transcript

there's a very big difference between I don't want to be with you and I would rather be with myself and a lot of people take that as like why don't you want to be with me well you're mad at me why are you upset and you're like it has nothing to do with you you are not involved in this equation if you have that preference it's worth stating and delineating that for your spouse or significant other I specifically have very little need for quality time and I think that trying to find somebody who has a similar match of needs or requirements also just makes significantly less compromise occur if one person's like I want to have quality time all the time you have to call me every day you have to we need to spend 3 hours every night together that can be tough if you're if you like if you're like I don't need that if you're matching up like you have the basic traits of the person and your your traits and how much they mesh and then for the in between stuff where those things are mismatched is how coachable is that person to match the preferences you may have in basically solutioning to figure out things that can be mutually beneficial for both of you