Maybe You Are Not a Good Person Right Now, and That’s Okay

Summary

• Sometimes I might not be the best in my relationships, like with my mom or friends, and that's okay. It doesn't make me a bad person overall.
• It's easy to put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect in everything, but that's not realistic. We will have times when we aren't at our best.
• The judgment we place on ourselves can be overwhelming and unnecessary. It's important to recognize that nobody is perfect all the time.
• Accepting that I might not always be a good daughter, spouse, or leader helps reduce personal angst and allows for self-compassion.
• Striving for constant approval from myself or others is unrealistic and can be a source of unnecessary stress.
• It's okay to acknowledge when we fall short and understand that it's part of being human.
• Embrace the fact that everyone has times when they are not at their best, and that's completely normal.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing self-compassion as a core practice in personal and professional life. Start by acknowledging it's okay not to be perfect in all areas. For example, if you're hard on yourself for not being the perfect friend or colleague, remind yourself that everyone falls short sometimes. This acceptance can relieve a lot of undue stress.

A good way of doing this is by noticing when you start to judge yourself harshly and then pausing to think whether it's necessary or fair. When you realize you're being too hard on yourself, replace that thought with "It's alright to make mistakes." This small mental shift is low-cost and takes little time, but it can have a big positive impact on your well-being and relationships.

I believe embracing imperfection can improve how you view yourself and others, too. Recognize that everyone, even the most successful leaders, has off days. When you accept this, it becomes easier to handle setbacks or criticism without feeling crushed by them.

Lastly, try sharing this understanding with your team or family. By encouraging an environment where it's okay to be imperfect, you help others grow more comfortable with their flaws. This not only boosts collective morale but also fosters a nurturing space where everyone feels valued and less pressured.

Full Transcript

they asked me about my mother and I I made a comment how I don't have a relationship with anymore and all these people like bad daughter and I was like yeah within that context maybe I am a bad daughter but like does that make me a bad person does that make me bad human forever does that make me a bad wife a bad leader like all these other things maybe I am a bad daughter sometimes maybe I'm also bad friend sometimes I cancel plans all the time there's so much judgment we put on ourselves for that it's insane it's like we put these unrealistic expectations on ourselves on people around us and on the World to be good and to be great and to Excel and to hit goals and do all these things but like sometimes we suck and sometimes we are bad so much of The Angst comes from needing your own approval by being like no I'm good all the time I'm a good spouse I'm a good business own I'm a good leader I'm a good maybe you're not that's okay it's okay