Most Leaders Dwell on the Wrong Things

Summary

• Giving good feedback is key to teaching well. It involves showing what good looks like, identifying where someone is, and pointing out the difference.
• It's important to communicate feedback in a way that encourages, not punishes, the person.
• Traditional leadership often focuses on mistakes, while the best leaders tie feedback to personal goals.
• For example, if someone wants to be a COO, you can say, "A COO would have handled it like this. What do you think the difference is?" This helps the person see the gap themselves.
• When giving feedback, avoid creating a "me versus you" situation. Instead, make it clear that you're on the same team, working toward the same goal.
• Present feedback as a way to help them get what they want, rather than avoiding what they don't want.

Video

How To Take Action

Action Plan for Implementing Effective Feedback Strategies

I suggest starting by clearly defining what "good" looks like in your work environment. This can be done by creating simple, visible examples or case studies that illustrate the desired outcomes and behaviors.

A good way of giving feedback is to pinpoint where the person currently stands. Observe their performance and note the specific areas where they excel and where improvement is needed. For example, if you have a team member aspiring to become a COO, watch how they handle certain situations and compare it to how a successful COO would handle them.

When communicating feedback, always aim to be encouraging rather than punishing. Instead of saying, “You did this wrong,” reframe it to, “Here's how you can improve to reach your goal.” Make sure the person understands that feedback is a tool for their growth and success.

Tie every piece of feedback to the person's personal goals. If someone wants to move up in their career, explain how the feedback will help them progress. For instance, say, “A COO would manage this task by doing X. What do you think is the difference?” This encourages them to self-reflect and identify the gap themselves.

Avoid creating an "us versus them" scenario. Frame the feedback within the context of being on the same team. Say, “We are all here to help each other succeed. Let’s work together to make this happen.” This removes any adversarial feelings and fosters a collaborative environment.

Finally, present feedback as a way for them to achieve what they want, rather than avoiding failures. Ensure your team sees feedback as a pathway to their goals, which can be motivating and effective in making real progress.

Full Transcript

I think the underlying skill that's needed to teach well is actually your ability to give feedback it's really just identifying what good looks like where somebody's at and what's the discrepancy and being able to communicate that in a way that is not punishing but instead encouraging to somebody a lot of traditional leadership goes in the opposite direction which is we dwell on what somebody's done wrong what the best leaders do is they're able to tie every piece of feedback to that personal goal which means hey I know that you want to be coo one day yesterday you did this a COO would have handled it like this what do you think the difference is and then I'll ask them to tell me where the discrepancy is a lot of times when we give feedback I think traditional advice puts you on opposite sides of the table and when you're on opposite sides of the table with somebody feels like your competitors rather than teammates and I think in order to make it feel like we're on the same team headed in the same direction you have to be able to present it in a way that is getting them towards something they want rather than having them run away from something they don't want