My First Date With My Husband…
Summary
- I had been dating for 18 months before I met Alex.
- Before our first date, I felt really discouraged because previous dates had been awkward and disappointing.
- I initially tried to cancel the date by pretending to be sick, but Alex called me out on it. I appreciated his assertiveness.
- I like assertive and direct people because I'm the same way.
- When I decided to go on the date, I found Alex interesting, but there wasn't an immediate emotional spark.
- Despite the lack of strong feelings initially, Alex checked all my boxes for what I wanted in a partner.
- The decision to continue seeing him was the best one I ever made, even though it wasn't based on strong initial feelings but rather a thoughtful process.
Video
How To Take Action
Implementation Strategies
I would suggest implementing strategies where you make decisions based on thoughtful processes rather than just emotions, especially in business and personal growth.
For Small Business Owners
Clear Criteria for Decisions: Just as I had checkboxes for what I wanted in a partner, list what you need for new hires, partnerships, or projects. This ensures decisions align with your long-term goals, even if there's no immediate excitement.
Stay Assertive: Like Alex showing assertiveness, be confident and clear in your communications. Whether it's with clients, employees, or partners, assertiveness prevents misunderstandings and builds respect.
For Entrepreneurs
Process Over Feelings: When deciding on new ventures or investments, rely on solid criteria instead of gut feelings. Research thoroughly and check if the opportunity meets your established criteria before jumping in.
Persevere Through Discouragement: Before meeting Alex, I was discouraged by past experiences. Similarly, if a project fails, don't let it stop you. Learn from it and approach the next one with the same assertiveness and preparation.
For Personal Growth
Evaluative List: Make a list of qualities or goals you need to work on or look for in people who can help your journey. This could be mentors, books, or skillsets. Evaluate them against this list rather than how they immediately make you feel.
Consistency Over Sparks: Like with Alex, sometimes the best choices don't come with immediate excitement. Commit to routines or habits that might feel mundane but are proven to benefit you in the long term, such as daily exercise or reading.
General Tips
Low-Cost, High-Value Actions: Start small. Implementing thorough decision-making processes and assertiveness in your daily routines doesn't cost money and has high returns on investment.
Reflect and Adjust: Always review your actions. If something didn't go well, pinpoint why and adjust your criteria or strategy. Continuous improvement is crucial.
By making thoughtful decisions and embracing assertiveness, you align more closely with your goals and achieve greater success.
Full Transcript
I'd been going on dates for about 18 months finally I was going to go on a date with this guy named Alex and I woke up that day and I was like dude I I'm going to be honest I was like I am defeated like I I'd had such a bad date like two weeks before that I was just like I don't want to go another first date and like feel so awkward and just have like the worst situation ever and just like have to awkwardly leave and avoid a kiss and like all these things and so I texted him and I was like yeah I can't go I'm sick the guy calls me he was like you don't sound sick and I was like okay you know I liked that because I said I want someone who's assertive I don't like somebody who's too passive because I'm pretty assertive and direct I was like okay I guess I'll go on date with him and there wasn't like some giant emotional spark but I really liked talking to him I was really interested in him and when I went home and I was like holy this guy passes all the boxes and it was weird because I was like there was this odd dissonance because my feelings weren't supporting it it was like yeah he was cool and interesting but it wasn't like anything that I had for past relationships and man that was the best decision I ever made in my life and it wasn't based on my feelings it was based on a process