My Husband and I Didn’t Have Sparks

Summary

• I believe that a strong relationship is built on logic rather than just Disney-like sparks and romance. Trusting the process and values can create a more sustainable bond.

• The person you choose as a partner will have more influence over you than anyone else in your life. It's crucial to choose someone whose influence you respect and value.

• Deciding from the beginning that there will be no way out can strengthen commitment. Both partners should agree on wanting a lifelong partnership instead of just a temporary marriage.

• In tough times, remember that feelings can change, but shared values and principles remain constant. These shared aspects help maintain connection when emotions fluctuate.

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How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing these strategies in your relationships and personal growth:

Choose Wisely: Think carefully about who you let influence your life. This could be your partner, a friend, or a mentor. Their impact is huge, so pick someone whose values you admire and can learn from.

Commit with No Exit Plan: If you're in a relationship, decide together that you're in it for the long haul. Agree on working through challenges instead of seeing an exit as an option. This mindset can deepen your sense of commitment and purpose.

Trust the Process: Don’t rely solely on emotions that can change day-to-day. Focus on logic and shared values. When things get tough, these are the constants that can help you stay connected and resilient.

Value Over Sparks: Recognize that sparks and romance aren’t everything. Building a relationship based on logic and shared principles can create a strong foundation, leading to a sustainable bond.

These strategies are low-cost in time and money but high-value in what they can offer you. By focusing on these areas, you can create more meaningful relationships and stable personal growth. Remember, the most important influence in your life should help you become the best version of yourself.

Full Transcript

our relationship was always based in logic and even though I didn't have all these like Disney Sparks and romance I trusted the process this person has more influence over you than anybody else in your entire life is this really the person that you want to have that much influence over you we agreed that we didn't want to give an out so we said like both of us want this to be our one marriage like we both said like I want a life partner I don't want like a marriage for 20 years so even in the first few years when it was very hard both of us were like feelings come and go but shared values and shared principles are always there no matter what so in those moments where maybe feelings are subpar you have those things that you connect to