People Confuse These 2 Things
Summary
- I believe there's a big difference between empathy and enabling; it's possible to understand someone's feelings while also encouraging their independence.
- Consistently tolerating emotional outbursts without promoting a solution can be unproductive and create a cycle of dependency.
- Often, well-meaning family, friends, and co-workers reinforce this cycle by offering consolation and attention every time the person expresses distress.
- It's important to teach people that attention should not be a reward for negative behavior; instead, we should promote positive actions and resilience.
Video
How To Take Action
To make good changes in your life or business, it's smart to focus on how you handle tough feelings without making things worse. Here's what you could do:
- First, understand that being kind and helpful doesn't mean you let bad behavior slide. You can be understanding but still push people to stand on their own two feet.
- If someone keeps having meltdowns, don't just sit and listen every time. Instead, help them find a way to solve their problems. This is better than just letting them keep complaining.
- Remember, if you or someone else is always upset, and people give you attention every time, it might become a bad habit. To break this habit, stop giving attention for negative stuff. Instead, cheer on the good things people do.
- Here's what to do at work or with friends: If someone comes to you upset, listen, but then ask them, "What steps can you take to fix this?" This helps them think about solutions.
- When you see someone doing something positive, even if it's small, praise them. Tell them they did a great job. This will help them want to do more good stuff.
- Finally, practice this yourself. When you're feeling down, don't just complain. Think about what action you can take. Then, go do it! This makes you stronger and teaches others to do the same.
Focusing on these simple yet powerful steps can really help you and the people around you grow and get better at handling challenges.
Quotes by Leila Hormozi
"I think people confuse empathy with enabling"
– Leila Hormozi
"you can be empathetic for somebody and also remind them that they can get back up on their two feet"
– Leila Hormozi
"that is much more helpful than tolerating somebody emotionally vomiting on you"
– Leila Hormozi
"they enable this cycle by continuing to reinforce it every time they cry"
– Leila Hormozi
"you teach the person that in order to get attention they have to cry"
– Leila Hormozi
Full Transcript
I think people confuse empathy with enabling you can be empathetic for somebody and also remind them that they can get back up on their two feet and I would say that that is much more helpful than tolerating somebody emotionally vomiting on you day after day after day because they're upset about something but unfortunately a lot of people are surrounded by family and friends and co-workers who care about them but they enable this cycle by continuing to reinforce it every time they cry they console them they give them attention now you teach the person that in order to get attention they have to C