Picking the Perfect Life Partner

Summary

• When I was in my early 20s, I realized that the people I was dating were not helping me reach my goals.
• I made a list of traits I wanted in a partner and also noted my non-negotiables, like don't cheat, don't hit, and be ethical.
• I decided to use this list as a guide when dating, instead of letting my emotions lead me.
• Once, I felt strong emotions for a guy but checked my list and saw he didn't meet the criteria for a good life partner.
• This taught me that I couldn't always trust my feelings to make important decisions.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing a list-based decision-making approach in your personal growth or business. Here’s how you can do it effectively:

Start by identifying your goals. Whether it’s in business, personal growth, or relationships, know what you want to achieve. Write these goals down clearly so you know what you’re aiming for.

Make a detailed list of the traits or qualities that align with your goals. For business, this could include specific skills or values you want in employees or partners. In personal growth, it might be habits or characteristics you want to develop.

Include non-negotiables—these are the absolute musts. For instance, in business, your non-negotiables might include honesty, reliability, and teamwork. In personal life, it could be kindness, integrity, and respect.

Use this list as a guide for making decisions. Instead of going with your emotions, check if people or opportunities match the traits on your list.

Review your decisions regularly. Reflect on whether they’re helping you move towards your goals. Adjust your list as needed but stick to your non-negotiables firmly.

By following this strategy, you’ll find it easier to stay aligned with your goals, make better decisions, and avoid distractions. This approach is low-cost and high-value, requiring minimal time but offering significant returns in clarity and direction.

Full Transcript

when I'm in my younger 20s I recognized that or the person I was with was not the person that was going to help me get to my goals I said like why do I keep ending up with these people and so I made this list and it was like a whole page long and it was all the traits that I wanted this person to have and then it was all the non-negotiables that I have which were only a couple like there's some hard lines here right like don't cheat don't hit me like be ethical person I want somebody with a good heart then I looked at the list of all the traits and I said great so when I go on dates when I get back I'm going to look at my list and I'm just going to say like do they have these traes not and I'm going to use that rather than my emotions cuz my emotions have been deceiving me there was one guy that I was like oh man wow I think this guy is like my next boyfriend allu I came home and I looked at the list and I was like damn this is not it like it was total like butterfly emotions there was no evidence to support that we would make good life Partners after that I was like all right I can't see this guy again I've realized I can't trust my feelings every day all day all the time