“Stop Being A D*ck”

Summary

• I had a team member who was acting like a jerk, and I knew the key was to provide clear, actionable feedback. Instead of just saying "Don't be a jerk," it's more effective to highlight specific behaviors that need change.
• I found that when behavior is an issue, identifying particular actions that are causing problems is crucial. For example, if someone interrupts in meetings or claims to know other departments better, those are behaviors to address.
• When instructing someone to change, provide them with direct actions to replace the problematic behaviors. For example, if they tend to interrupt, tell them to listen and wait their turn.
• I learned that specific guidance works best. Telling someone exactly what actions to avoid and what to do instead brings about clear and rapid improvement, as was the case with my team member.
• Within a week of offering specific instructions, the feedback from the team shifted dramatically from negative to positive, showing the power of clear, actionable advice.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing clear communication for growth. If you notice someone on your team acting out, like being disruptive, identify specific actions causing the issue. Break it down into clear examples: are they interrupting others or overstepping?

A good way of doing this is to address the exact behaviors. Instead of vague feedback like "Stop being difficult," say something like, "Try waiting until the person finishes speaking before you add your thoughts."

Another suggestion is replacing the negative with positive actions. If someone says they know more about areas outside their expertise, encourage them to ask questions to learn more instead. This turns problematic actions into growth opportunities.

Within a week, you should start seeing positive changes. Feedback may shift as your team members adapt. Direct, actionable advice works wonders and can help change how others perceive and respond to someone’s behavior.

Remember to make the guidance specific and avoid giving abstract advice like "Be nicer." Instead, break it down: "Smile and greet people with 'hello' to start a positive conversation." This makes instructions clear and easy to follow, helping everyone improve faster and more effectively.