The Best Way to Give Feedback

Summary

• When asking someone about what they don't like, let them tell you instead of pointing it out. For example, the plastic surgeon gives you a mirror and asks what you don't like about your face.
• This approach helps people feel less defensive and more open. If someone tells me what's wrong with my face, I might feel defensive and discredit them.
• Providing feedback in a way that doesn't insult or demean is crucial. Many people struggle with doing this effectively.
• When people point out their flaws themselves, they are more likely to accept the feedback and take action, like getting surgery in the example.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing a feedback strategy that encourages others to identify their own areas for improvement. This can be done by asking open-ended questions and letting them express their thoughts. For example, instead of pointing out flaws directly, ask, "What areas of your work do you think could be improved?" This approach makes them less defensive and more open to feedback.

A good way of doing this in a customer service setting is to give clients a platform to share their opinions. For instance, if you run a small business, you can hand out feedback forms that ask, "What did you like least about your experience today?" This allows customers to express their views without feeling attacked, increasing the likelihood they'll accept and understand the feedback.

When giving feedback to your team, try framing it in a constructive way. Instead of saying, "Your report was missing key data points," consider asking, "How do you think the report could include more comprehensive data?" This helps team members feel engaged and responsible for their own improvements.

For personal growth, practice self-reflection by regularly asking yourself questions like, "What part of my routine is least effective?" or "Which skills do I feel need the most improvement?" Identifying your weaknesses yourself makes it easier to act on them.

By shifting to a strategy where people point out their own flaws, you foster a more accepting and proactive environment, making feedback a powerful tool for growth without causing defensiveness or resistance.

Full Transcript

what do you not like about your face if you go to a plastic surgeon for example they're going to give you a mirror and this mirror makes you look like like every little pour and flaw you've ever had shows up in this mirror and then they say what do you not like about your face do you think that is more or less effective in getting someone to buy more plastic surgery then them looking at your face and telling you what's wrong with it cuz if they look at my face and tell me what's wrong with it how do I feel probably defensive I'm probably going to say oh I'm going to discredit the doctor and talk about why he's wrong but if I talk about what's wrong with my face probably more likely to do the surgery a lot of people don't know verbally how to deliver feedback in a way that doesn't make someone feel demeaned or insulted