The Realization That Reshaped My Approach To Business

Summary

• I've learned that having a chip on your shoulder can drive you forward, but it's not conducive to long-term happiness.
• When striving for success, it's important to set higher goals to stay motivated, but be careful with the methods you use to motivate yourself.
• My experience showed me that beating a competitor like Bedros Coolian didn't bring the satisfaction or impact on him that I had expected.
• Success against a rival feels empty if it's driven by hatred; true competitors are often unaffected by your victories.
• Building a vendetta against someone can harm your mental health more than it harms the target of your resentment.
• Rather than harboring anger, focus on your advancement and contribute positively to others in your industry – this enhances personal well-being without damaging professional relationships.
• Negative talk about others can damage your own reputation; people remember how negative energy makes them feel and associate it with you.
• Collaborating with competitors or industry peers instead of attacking them can be mutually beneficial and lucrative.
• Understand that most markets are not zero-sum games; there's ample demand for services and solutions, with room for different approaches to coexist.
• Being spiteful can hurt long-term opportunities because high-level network conversations can influence business dealings.
• Use any anger constructively to motivate yourself, but avoid using it maliciously towards others – it's counterproductive and can stunt your growth and success.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest first turning that chip on your shoulder into motivation without letting it tip over into resentment. You want that drive without the negative side effects. So, set goals that challenge you, but do it for yourself, not to get back at someone else. It's way better for your happiness.

Be careful with how you talk about competitors or anyone, really. Negative talk about others can make people feel bad, and they'll remember that bad feeling and think of you. Instead, if you feel angry, use that energy to push yourself forward, but not against someone else. That way, your growth is healthy and positive.

Now, let's be smart and look for opportunities to collaborate with others in your field. This can be good for everyone. Remember, there's plenty of success to go around. It's not a winner-take-all world. When you help others and they help you, everyone can win more. Plus, it's good for your mind and relationships.

Also, don't be fooled into thinking your success hurts your competitors. It usually doesn't. By focusing on doing your best, you'll keep getting better, and that's awesome for you and your business. If you get angry, channel it into working harder and improving yourself, not taking swipes at others.

Lastly, keep an open mind. You might think the market is small, but it's really huge! There's room for lots of people and businesses. Spread positive vibes, collaborate when you can, and keep climbing that mountain with a healthy attitude. This will help you feel good, keep your reputation strong, and open up more chances for success in the future.

Quotes by Alex Hormozi

"Everyone wishes for the American Dream and roots for you for the American Dream until it comes true"

– Alex Hormozi

"The higher you get, the more humbling it is to realize that your success doesn't hurt anyone else"

– Alex Hormozi

"All the venom, vengeance, and vendetta… the only person it poisoned was me"

– Alex Hormozi

"If you're climbing the mountain, stay hungry as hell, do whatever it takes to stay motivated"

– Alex Hormozi

"The ocean's very big, it's so much bigger than everyone gives it credit for"

– Alex Hormozi

Full Transcript

what's going on everyone happy uh saturday today um i uh wanted to make this podcast for you because i got off the phone with uh ed terney and he and i had a long conversation about a wide breadth of topics and he's like dude you should talk more about this kind of stuff and so what i want to do is actually share with you um kind of my experience of having the chip on my shoulder and kind of where it got me and what i learned in the process and so if you have any kind of like thoughts around uh like trying to beat someone and like like you're gonna take these guys down and like all this stuff and i know many many people in this space uh you know feel that way towards me i can tell you having literally gone through the entire process um it's it's really interesting so like when i when i had my gyms i i wrote this huge essay and it was for myself because i actually have a creative writing background that most people don't know about um but i entitled it uh that everyone wishes for the american dream and roots for you for the american dream until it comes true and i felt that way with my clients you know they were rooting for me when i was sleeping on the floor they're like good for you like pursuing your dreams and um but as time went on you know and i started to be able to hire people we started making more money um and eventually i didn't have to work in the business they're like oh you're too good for us now like oh a big businessman right and everyone roots for you um until you do better than them and so what ends up happening is that you have to set higher and higher goals for yourself to drive yourself right and for me i uh definitely was an angrier person or maybe i'm just better at hiding it now i have no idea um but i was definitely angrier about stuff and i set this goal that i was going to beat bedros if you guys recall who badros cooley and he's a big guru or was big guru in the in the gym space uh he owns fit body and and i i started telling myself all of these things you know what i mean like how he's wronging people and he's ripping people off and i would tell myself these stories you know what i mean to try and like get myself amped up about like how i'm just gonna like write the industry and and do everything and i'm gonna be bigger than him and like all this stuff right and the reality is um you know as as time went on and and you know jim lunch grew and we grew and grew and grew and um you know i'm not i don't know what his numbers are but i'm fairly certain that our coaching program is and has been bigger than his in this space at least for a while and when i got there um you know i guess to to the higher you know to to match that and surpass um first off i found that it was incredibly empty um but secondly i felt and realized that he was completely unaffected uh he had uh he was still incredibly wealthy uh he had other entrepreneurial endeavors he was pursuing and this my success in no way affected his life and it was one of the most humbling and also freeing moments of my life when i realized that because it he wasn't an enemy i and i doubt i was even you know like a blip on the radar um during that time and i mean obviously they know who we are now but um it it didn't affect his life and all this malicious you know list this vengeance this vendetta that i had like the only person it poisoned was me and you know there's two sides to this coin on on one side you have like the the drive um you know if you guys have seen the jordan documentary talks about how used to make things up that other people would say about them that they never actually said and i feel like it's kind of like that and it's and that chip on your shoulder does drive you so i can't say it didn't drive me but i don't think it made me a happier person and so and believe me i'm not the guy who's like go go hug trees and be happy like i'm all about achieving uh achieving stuff so like by all means go do whatever works for you but i can tell you that it seeing it truly seeing my success not in any way impact someone else's success really radically transformed my feelings about competitors about the space about the industry about other coaches in general about what i was willing to do to help other coaches etc it really transformed me um i started calling up other people who were in our space and just saying like hey how can i help you grow and they're like seriously and i was like yeah man i'm like i mean you're not gonna take my stuff and i'm not gonna take your stuff because people are attracted to different people for different reasons you know people like everyone has different psychographics that they attract like i'm 81 male like women in general don't find my my content uh appealing i'm just saying like those are that that's the data right those are the stats um but the thing is is that uh by freeing myself of this i realize it didn't impact my success at all and other people growing with my you know with me helping or without me helping didn't affect my success either but it did massively affect my mental well-being um and so i guess there's two sides to this message that you can take one is if you were the you know the line climbing up the mountain um by all means stay hungry as hell do whatever it takes for you to stay motivated um but i would say don't don't do anything stupid you know don't don't don't say anything don't don't take massive you know malicious attacks i didn't do that but i'm just saying like don't do that because you will end up burning bridges i've had a lot of people do that to me and i'm sure bedros has had it too and you know some of the guys have been in the space for a long time have had people do that and what ends up happening is that you just kind of burn your reputation and you know what's gonna happen is somebody who's taking a massive you know swipe at me um you know they're gonna want to do a deal with someone else and that guy's gonna call me and he's like what do you think about this guy i'm like ah i think he's a little bit i think he's naive i think he's i think he's noob i think he's small bones i think he's an emotional person i don't think he's able to restrain himself i think he's very volatile i wouldn't do business with him if it were me um you can do whatever you want and i would just be like this is my experience with it i would i don't touch people like that with a 10-foot pole but do what you want and usually when people hear that you know from someone that they think is less volatile they will usually heed that advice and there's been probably a lot of people who have taken attacks at me who somehow find things that just fall through for them um and that may or may not have been as a result of you know me but the point is that i think that that anger um use it to fuel yourself but don't don't use it to attack um it just doesn't end up going well and also people make associations with how they feel about what you say and so if you're always talking negatively in general about other people people will not remember who you were talking about but they will remember how you made them feel and they will associate the negativity with you and so that's something that um i learned early on in like some of the persuasion books i was like oh okay i need to watch out for that and so it's hard for me especially because i was like so angry when i was younger um that to not do that right and so um that's that's one side of it right is if you were if you were climbing the mountain um and i guess the message to the other side is that like it's just you're not gonna affect anything like you're not gonna hurt anyone by your success and that's like that's probably the biggest message i can give is like you're not gonna hurt anyone like it's not like you're not gonna hurt anyone like when people make swipes at me i was like it doesn't hurt me like it doesn't affect me at all um like it doesn't affect my business it doesn't it just it just affects you um and i'm only sharing this because like it was something that i think really hurt my mental well-being when i was younger and i and if i can provide value you know i hope that it doesn't affect those people if they see this um so anyways and maybe that's you you know maybe it's maybe there's a competitor in your space or maybe there's another you know another business down the street that you're like screw this guy blah blah blah blah i can promise you you would make so much more money if you guys just like talked and shared like best practices because it there's so few markets where it's actually winner take all there's it's there's so few you know what i mean that it actually works that way it's a zero-sum game the reality is that most businesses can't even handle the amount of demand that there is for the service and the solution that they have or the problem that they solve and the other reality is that there's a lot of people that like things solved in different ways you know if layla and i were entering the weight loss space it's not like i have to start attacking weight watchers you know what i mean like there's just certain people who are attracted to that type of messaging and if layla and i got in that space we'd probably have a very different angle brand message look and feel than they would and we would attract different types of people with different values and so it's there's a lot of room and the ocean's very very big it's so much bigger than everyone gives you credit for um and that's i think i told a story recently about a competitor quote competitor another per another companies in our space who's who's doing this like the same amount as i as we are and they're not even they're not even like marketing on facebook and i'm like are you kidding me and they have an entire outbound team and when i heard that i was just like gosh i just like i continue to have my mental barriers stretched around these concepts of like the game is so big and the only person you hurt when you spit hate is yourself um you you hurt your long-term prospects because people at the top do talk like it's like there definitely is like i think i heard andy fercello say this it's like everyone stops just like hanging out like they're all just like most of us know each other you know what i mean and like we text each other and hey how's this working for you hey how's this where like there's no animosity like i'm friends with a lot of people who are in the gym space who serve jim owners like i have no malicious intentions someone's like hey should i work with so-so i'm like give them a shot you know what i mean like everyone has a different way of doing things um you know this is what ours works well with and if you like our style and you like you know you like selling hard you like going high ticket you like marketing hard uh you like focusing on metrics like that's us you know what i mean like there's people who like more done for you like that's cool too like there's guys who do that really well so anyways i uh i wanted to share this with you because uh ed inspired me uh to share this message with you because um if you you know if you are angry or you've you have this uh angered inside of yourself i 100 get you i feel you um but i would just say try and use it to spur yourself on do not use it to throw shade because it will not benefit your well-being and it won't benefit your long-term success so anyways i hope you found that valuable hope you enjoyed this if you did leave a like or comment or review or just uh listen solemnly uh but anyways hope you have an awesome day and a happy saturday and i'll catch you guys soon bye [Music] [Music] [Applause] you