There Is No Magic

Summary

• Everything boils down to behavior; there's no magic or mysticism involved.
• I view everything in terms of skills. For example, to be charismatic, you have to master specific behaviors.
• If someone tells you to be more charismatic, it means practicing skills like standing up straight, looking people in the eyes, and nodding when someone talks.
• By doing these 12 to 15 specific behaviors, people will start to describe you as charismatic.
• It's not about inherent traits; it's about mastering particular skills.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing these simple but effective tweaks to your behavior to improve your charisma or any other desired traits. Here are my low-cost, high-value action steps for you:

Stand Up Straight

A good way of presenting confidence is to always stand up straight. This makes you appear taller, more confident, and ready to engage. Practice this daily until it becomes natural.

Eye Contact

Make a habit of looking people in the eyes when you speak to them. This shows that you're engaged and trustworthy. Try this in every conversation, and you'll see a big improvement in how others perceive you.

Nodding

When someone else is talking, nod your head to show that you are listening and interested in what they are saying. This small action makes you seem more connected and empathetic.

Master One Behavior at a Time

Pick one area, like eye contact or standing up straight, and focus on mastering it for a week. Once it feels natural, move on to the next behavior. This way, you’re not overwhelming yourself and can see gradual improvement.

Feedback Loop

Ask close friends or colleagues for feedback on your progress. What specific behaviors are they noticing about you? This external perspective can give you insights into areas you may still need to work on.

Consistency

Commit to these behaviors daily. Don't try them once or twice and give up. Real mastery comes from consistent practice. Set reminders on your phone if needed.

By implementing these small, specific actions, you’ll begin to exhibit the traits you desire. Remember, it's all about practicing and mastering behaviors, not relying on inherent traits.

Full Transcript

there is no magic there is no mysticism there is no spirituality around this everything comes down to behavior I think about everything in terms of skills if you say hey be more charismatic what does someone do I say charismatic but it what it really means is 12 skills underneath of it that means that when you walk into a room stand up straight look everyone in the eyes when someone talks nod your head if you do all of these 12 behaviors or 15 behaviors people begin to describe you as charismatic then it's not like oh I'm just not that in ERT character trait it's really oh I have not mastered these 12 skills