This Was Our Biggest Relationship Hurdle

Summary

• I used to become very cold and shut people out when I faced something I didn't like. I wasn't mean, but I just stopped talking for days.
• This behavior was not helpful for my relationships. I would work, sit, and eat with the person, but I wouldn't engage with them.
• During one car ride, I was being cold, and my partner expressed that if I continued, he couldn't stay in the relationship. That was a wake-up call for me.
• I realized I needed to change, not just for him, but for myself and any future relationships.
• It's important to address and fix such behaviors early on, as they will be problematic in any relationship.

Video

How To Take Action

I would suggest starting by reflecting on how you handle conflicts and uncomfortable situations. Consider if you ever become cold or distant rather than engaging and communicating. Being aware of this behavior is crucial, as it can affect both personal relationships and professional ones.

A good way of overcoming this is to practice open communication. If something bothers you, try to express it calmly and clearly rather than shutting down. You can start small by sharing your feelings about minor disagreements or your thoughts about a shared project.

Another strategy is to set a personal goal to not let feelings fester. Decide that you won’t let a misunderstanding go unresolved for more than 24 hours. This encourages you to face issues head-on and prevents them from growing bigger in your mind.

Also, it might help to jot down your thoughts when you’re feeling distant. Writing can help you process emotions and find clarity. You could use a journal or a notes app; whatever is comfortable for you.

Engage in empathetic listening. When others speak, try to understand their point of view fully before responding. This practice builds trust and strengthens relationships, which is valuable in any setting.

Lastly, remember it’s okay to seek help. Sometimes talking to a friend or a mentor about your behavioral patterns can provide new insights or solutions. By applying these strategies, you’ll be fostering healthier and more supportive relationships in every part of your life.