We Can Disagree Without Arguing
Summary
- I believe it's important to disagree without escalating into arguments. Arguing means letting emotions take over, while disagreeing is simply having different opinions.
- Both Alex and I prioritize using data to support our feedback. This helps us make decisions based on facts rather than feelings.
- We focus on shared values and goals. Since we both want to succeed and achieve the same mission, our disagreements are usually about different perspectives on how to get there.
- I always share the data and context that inform my feedback, and Alex does the same. This ensures that we both make well-informed decisions.
- It's crucial to constantly remind each other of our love and common goals. This helps us stay united and work towards winning together.
Video
How To Take Action
I would suggest implementing a few key strategies from our experiences that are easy to start with and will provide significant value:
Disagree Without Arguing: Understand that it’s okay to have different opinions. Try to keep emotions out of it and focus on the facts. If you feel yourself getting heated, take a step back and remind yourself you're on the same team.
Use Data to Support Feedback: When giving feedback, base it on actual data, not just how you feel about a situation. If you're a small business owner, gather and show specific stats or outcomes related to the tasks or subjects you're discussing. This makes the feedback more concrete and less personal.
Focus on Shared Values and Goals: Always come back to what you and your team want to achieve together. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or working on personal development, have clear goals that everyone agrees on. This makes it easier to resolve disagreements because you’re always aiming for the same end result.
Share Context: When you give feedback, explain where your thoughts are coming from. Give as much background information as possible so the other person understands your perspective fully. This could be past experiences, specific incidents, or relevant data.
Constantly Reinforce Unity: Regularly remind each other of your shared mission and that you’re working towards the same goals. Verbal affirmations of support and mutual goals can keep everyone motivated and aligned.
By starting with these small, specific strategies, you'll be able to improve your feedback process with your team or in your personal growth journey. Remember, the goal is to make well-informed decisions and work together towards common goals.
Full Transcript
I was wondering how you and Alex approach giving each other constructive criticism feedback we can disagree without arguing I think arguing is when you're escalating you're bringing emotions into it versus like just simply disagreeing and so because we're not afraid of disagreeing we can easily bring feedback to each other we support any kind of feedback that we give each other with data because most of the time if we're operating on the same values and we have the same Mission we both want to get there then if we're making different decisions maybe we have different data points that we using and so I always start with data which is like what's the data I have to share for him to be able to make this decision with the most context possible and he does the same for me and I think that something that we've gotten really good at is just like constantly anchoring to the goal which is like I love you we want the same things we both want to win
