Why Focus On What You Can’t Control?
Summary
- I can't control if someone doesn't respect me because I'm a woman, but I can control if they don't respect me for being inexperienced or lacking skills.
- I realized that being inexperienced, not communicating well, or not setting boundaries were things I could change.
- When I first led a company, I understood that societal conditioning made me behave in ways not helpful for being a boss.
- Though these behaviors might be because I'm a woman, I still have the power to change them.
- Blaming disrespect on being a woman doesn't help because it doesn't offer a way to improve or move forward.
Video
How To Take Action
I suggest focusing on the things you can control to improve your situation. Start by identifying areas where you can grow, like gaining experience, learning better communication skills, or setting clear boundaries.
Here’s a plan:
Skill Development:
- Low-cost courses: Invest time in free or low-cost online courses on management, leadership, and communication. Websites like Coursera, Udemy, or YouTube offer many.
- Practice communication: Join a local Toastmasters club to practice public speaking and clear communication. This improves your ability to articulate your thoughts.
Setting Boundaries:
- Personal Assessment: Reflect on your current boundaries. In a journal, note situations where you felt your boundaries were crossed.
- Clear Communication: Practice saying "no" in a polite but firm way. Role-playing with a friend can help you gain confidence.
Personal Experience:
- Seek mentorship: Find a mentor in your industry who can offer guidance and support. This doesn’t have to cost anything and provides invaluable practical insights.
- Volunteer for projects: Look for opportunities within your organization to take on new responsibilities. This helps you gain experience in a low-risk setting.
- Self-Advocacy:
- Self-promotion: Make a list of your achievements and practice talking about them. This helps you get comfortable with advocating for yourself.
- Regular Feedback: Request regular feedback from peers and superiors. Use this feedback constructively to improve and showcase your growth.
By focusing on these high-value, low-cost strategies, you’ll start seeing significant improvements in how you are perceived and respected. Changing how you communicate, advocate for yourself, and set boundaries will create a more positive environment for your growth.
Full Transcript
because I'm a woman people don't respect me what can you do about that which belief serves you more I can't control the fact if somebody doesn't respect me because I'm a woman but I can control that if they don't respect me because I'm inexperienced because I lack management skills because I lack ability to communicate to articulate myself well to stand up for myself to advocate for myself to say no to set boundaries and so there are a lot of things that I realized when I was young and I was leading a company for the first time that I had been conditioned by iety to behave in a certain way that was not advantageous for being a boss of multi hundred person company and those things though probably were conditioned in me because I was a woman are still under my control to change the unfortunate truth is that I just see so many people blaming the fact that they're a woman and saying I'm getting disrespected because of this but there's nowhere to go from there