You Train Your Partner How to Treat You
Summary
- When you notice a decline in the effort made by your partner in the relationship, it's not constructive to simply blame them.
- Remember that by tolerating certain behaviors, you're effectively teaching your partner what is acceptable in the relationship.
- Taking action is more powerful than words; actions will train your partner more effectively.
- It's crucial to communicate what you want clearly and to propose a specific, achievable change.
- For example, if you miss going on dates, don't just complain. Instead, suggest something like committing to one date a week and get an agreement on it.
- Avoid turning small issues into big arguments; keep the conversation focused and concise for better results.
Video
How To Take Action
I would suggest taking a good look at our relationships and seeing if we've been letting things slide. If our partner isn't putting in the effort they used to, it's not right to just blame them. We might be showing them it's okay to not try hard by staying quiet. So, it's time to be brave and do something about it, and not just talk.
Here's what we can do: First, think about what we really want. For example, if we miss those nice dates, let's not just whine about it. We should come up with a simple plan, like asking to go on one date every week. And when we talk about it, let's be super clear about what we want.
When we chat with them, let's keep it short and sweet. We don't want to turn a tiny problem into a huge fight. Just focus on what we need to fix. If we only use words and don't follow up with actions, they won't take us seriously.
So, we should say something like, "Hey, I really liked it when we went out on dates before. How about we try to go on one date each week? Can we agree on that?" And then, let's make sure it happens. That's how we show them it's important, and that's how we train them to treat us better. It's all about what we do, not just what we say.
Quotes by Leila Hormozi
"With everything that you tolerate with your partner, you train them is acceptable in the relationship"
– Leila Hormozi
"Words don't mean anything"
– Leila Hormozi
"That's why a lot of times when people tell me they're like we just got to talk it out I'm like no"
– Leila Hormozi
"What is the committed action we're going to take from this conversation"
– Leila Hormozi
"I would really like if we went on one date a week is that something we can commit to"
– Leila Hormozi
Full Transcript
we used to go on these romantic dates and he used to take me out to these nice dinners I used to get dressed up and now it's like I barely get a good morning text in a relationship like that rather than talking about how that person sucks and blaming them and doing all these things I'd like to give you something new to think with everything that you tolerate with your partner you train them is acceptable in the relationship because what did the girl do the whole time when he stopped doing all those things she stayed she with her action showed him that it's okay she trained him to treat her worse that's why a lot of times when people tell me they're like we just got to talk it out I'm like no words don't mean anything you want him to say oh gosh I'm so busy oh I'm this of this I love you blah blah blah like is that what you want or do you want him to take you on more dates what is the committed action we're going to take from this conversation and it doesn't need to be a long conversation that instance it's just hey you used to take me on more dates I would really like if we went on one date a week is that something we can commit to that's it but instead we blow it up to this huge thing